• Aya

There is no issue, but…

I don’t have any problem in my life, but…

I am able to live without any issue in the host country, but…

I can find enjoyment here and there, but…


Do you feel “something is missing”?


It might happen

When your child grows up a little bit and/or adjusts to the new environment…

When your new routine has established in your host country…

When you can relax a bit in the new country...



There is nothing wrong about it. It is just a moment when your curiosity and/or willingness to grow, which has been put away for a while, starts to sprout. Your curiosity and willingness to grow don’t vanish even if you turn 40, you have a child, you live overseas, or you stop working for a while. Also, it is possible that your curiosity and willingness pop up out of the blue.


You might be surprised and confused if you find your desire to do something which you thought it’d be gone for a long time. So people who have plenty of life experience, just like you, think all the reasons that they cannot do and all the obstacles they might face. Therefore, they tend to make a decision not to take any step. Does it happen to you? Or they might find that they can’t think clearly. It is also possible that they wonder why they cannot satisfy their current life and why they frustrated even though there is no particular dissatisfaction with the current situation. Does it sound familiar to you? Then they might be surprised, feel guilty, and/or get angry. What do you think about this situation? I believe you don’t like to live with those feelings.


There are several things you can do when you are in this situation.


  1. Write down everything in your mind. Don’t worry about time-line, availability, and other things. Just jot down whatever words and phrases which come up in your mind. (For 10-15min. If you feel you don’t have enough time, you can do longer)

  2. Talk to someone. (Don’t ask for advice or opinion. Just ask him/her to listen. If he/she can wrap-up what you say at the end, it would be great)

  3. Set up a meeting with people who are in a similar circumstance. (If you can find someone who can facilitate the meeting, it would be wonderful)


Do you read books and/or collect information when you think a lot, and/or when you don’t know what you can do? They are “INPUT” actions. If you don’t know what you don’t know and/or what you feel, please do “OUTPUT” actions, such as writing and talking.


When you are hyperventilation (over-breathing), you will be advised to focus on exhaling, not inhaling. If you try to inhale first, you might find it very difficult to do so, and it can be very scary. However, if you are able to exhale slowly and completely first, you will find that you can inhale naturally.


A similar thing happens in your brain as well. You might be more confused if you get more knowledge. By putting out what you have in your mind, you can see and hear your idea and feeling objectively. It helps to clear your mind.


Try to do these “OUTPUT” activities about once a month. You can do either writing down or talking. Don’t try to find a solution and/or things to do. Just focus on output everything in your mind. I believe that you will find it useful. There is a possibility that just like you can inhale easily after exhaling completely, you might find out something such as what you need to do and/or what you would like to do.


If you rather talking to someone than writing, please try to find someone who can just listen to your story without giving any advice and/or opinion.


A coach is a professional listener who can listen to your stories without judgment, with curiosity, and with the supportive mind. Also, a coach is trained to ask thought-provoking questions to empower you.


#expat #livingoverseas #foreigncountry #misssomething #coaching #interculturalcandc