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In the last two post, we went through “WHO YOU ARE” exercises (“Wheel of Life”, “Value Assessment”, and “Attributes and Gifts”) and “WHAT YOU WANT” exercises (“Your Ideal Life”, “How You Want to Show Up”, and “Energy Levels”). The last step is “HOW TO ACHIEVE” stage.
Even if you understand yourself well and have a wonderful goal, it won’t happen without an execution. So let’s make it happen.
Like the quote by Robin Sharma says, it takes time and requires a lot of effort to achieve goals. It is also very important to believe in yourself that you are capable to achieve the goals.
Let’s see “HOW TO ACHIEVE” your goals.
Based on my personal experience, there are two types of people who cannot achieve their goals. Those two types of people are explained below in section 1 and 2.
1. Planning
The first group of people who cannot achieve their goals is who cannot make good plans. And they start to take actions without knowing what they are supposed to do. There are some people who can work without plans, but not everyone. Also, it is valuable to have plans for future use.
This is how to make a plan that works.
First, write down the big goal that you defined during the last stage. Then, write down all the activities that you think you need to do. They don’t have to be accurate and/or in order. For example, if your big goal is to create a website, write down all the possible activities you might need to do, such as finding a host, learning how to create a site, deciding a name for your site, etc. Next, choose one activity from the list that you believe that you have to do first, or feel comfortable and are excited to do as a first step. Then, ask yourself if your activity is specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable, and time-oriented. If any answer is “NO”, then modify your activity until all the answers become “YES”.
If you feel you can’t do it by yourself, tell your family and/or friends about your plan/small goal. Then ask them to ask your progress from time to time.
Now you have a good plan.
2. Taking Actions
Another type of people who fail to achieve goals are people who love to make plans, but they spend too long to make a plan. And creating a perfect plan becomes a goal. So they are satisfied by the time when they make a beautiful plan and they end up without taking actual actions.
So let’s make sure that you take actions!
Before taking an action, ask the following questions. It is recommendable to write those answers down.
What is your goal and why is it important?
How would you know that you reach the goal when it comes?
What would work best for you to motivate yourself?
What could be obstacles to taking actions?
How should you handle commitments that are not kept?
What things may hold you back from realizing your goal?
Then you take the action that you planned above.
Sometimes, when we face challenges and/or obstacles, we lose our confidence. And your brain tells you messages such as “I am not good enough”, “I couldn’t do xxx in the past, so the same thing will happen again”, and “I am xxx and people like me won’t be able to do this”. And you might hesitate, be scared, and/or want to run away. If you hear any of those voices in your head, please work on the next activity, “Inner Blocks”.
3. Inner Blocks
There are four kinds of blocks which stop you from taking actions. Those four are “Gremlin”, “Assumption”, “Interpretations”, and “Limiting Belief”. By putting those four initial letters combined, it’s called GAIL.
Based on the explanation from iPEC coaching school, GAIL is explained as below.
<“L” Limiting Belief>
Something that you accept about life, about yourself, about your world, or about the people in it, that limits you in some way
<“I” Interpretations>
An opinion or judgment that you create about an event, situation, person, or experience and believe to be true
<“A” Assumption>
An expectation that, because something has happened in the past, it will happen again
<“G” Gremlin>
The inner critic that tells you, in one way or another, that you’re not good enough
If you hear voice or come up with an idea that makes you lose your confidence, it is highly possible that the it is caused by one of the GAILs. You don’t have to know if your voice is “Limiting Belief” or “Gremlin”. All you have to know is those voices or ideas are questionable. So if you hear any of the voices or realize the ideas, ask yourself, “How true is it?”
If your voice tells you that you won’t be able to find a job in the host country because you are a foreigner, ask yourself “How true is that a foreign person cannot find a job?”. Ask yourself genuinely. If you don’t know/find answers, Google it, ask your friend/neighbors/acquaintances or talk to a specialist (This is a great way to take your first action!).
Or if your voice repeats that you are not good enough, take a deep breath and acknowledge the fact that you hear the voice. Examine what you feel when you hear the voice. Also, what action/inaction you tend to take when you feel that way. Please remember not to judge yourself. It is very normal to feel that way if you hear those voices. However, what would you feel if you can believe the voice is not true? And what action would you take if you feel differently? Is it appealing? Does it sound worth trying? (It is the best part of coaching to understand and control your ideas, feelings and actions!!)
Do you remember when you heard the voice for the first time? How old were you? Why do you think you heard the voice? Is it possible that believing the voice was protecting you from getting hurt? Do you still need the protection?
If the voice is not helpful anymore, how true the message is?
How true is it?
Let's take an action!
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If you have any question and/or need any support for these activities, please contact me at aya@interculturalcandc.com I am more than happy to support you.
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