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  • Writer's pictureAya

It’s OK to say “I can’t”

When I came to the States, I believed that I had to endure and should not complain about any of the challenges I experienced because it was my decision to relocate.


After living in the US for more than seven years, I can tell you on thing. If you think so, you can say “It’s painful”, “It’s not fun”, or “I don’t like it”.

Someone might say it’s your responsibility and you should not complain. But life give you not only ups but downs too. So when you are in hardship, you can feel negative feelings and express that.

It’s OK to say to feel, think, and say negative things even it happened because of your choice. It doesn’t mean you are irresponsible. If you were really irresponsible, you would not feel the pain. You feel the pain because you want to change it but it is so hard to do.

If you were in the situation, there are some things you can do:

<Short Term Solutions> -Get enough sleep and eat well

-Go outside and take a deep breathe

-Look up sky, a mountain, or a tall tree


-Hug someone or something

<Long Term Solutions>

-Find a support network

-Find a coach

With your peer or a coach, you can discuss how to build boundaries, become resilient, and let go your “should and shouldn’t”s.


If you are interested in talking about your expat life, concerns, challenges, and opportunities, please book a discovery session from here →

I would love to hear your story.




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